A Mother's Lament, a Poet's Voice: Shawn Jackson's Quest to Preserve Kyle's Light

Published on June 8, 2023 | 10 min read

Shawn Jackson's life shattered on the morning of June 8, 2013.

Her 22-year-old son, Kyle Burke Jones, had been gone more than a month when a team of hikers stumbled upon his body under the waters of the Spokane River. No definitive answers. No conclusion. Only heartache, bewilderment, and an endless expanse of silence where before there had been laughter.

"I dropped to the floor when they informed me," Jackson remembers. "by phone. Someone came to my doorstep. That's when everything inside of me shattered."

Today, more than a decade later, Jackson - a writer, mom, and woman of unshakable spiritual depth, is transmuting that sorrow into something lasting. In the Life of Kyle, her new book; is not just a memorial to her son. It is a reckoning with grief and the strength of a mother's love. Done in poetry, memory, and photographs, the book opens Kyle's life not as it unfolded in death, but as it was: alive, smart, curious, and forever loved.

"Writing this book took ten years," she says. "Ten years of crying, remembering, questioning if I could ever complete it. But I had to tell his story."

From Treehouse Poems to Published Pages

Jackson's life story doesn't start with Kyle's death, but in a treehouse, notebook in hand, composing her first rhymes at age nine. Adopted into a complicated universe of identity and adoption, she attributes her early start to her mother, Adella Jackson, a talented poet in her own right, who showed her how to write emotion. Her earliest poems, scribbled on paper and hidden in journals, would someday become a voice heard on Amazon shelves, social media videos, and healing circles of readers in search of someone to voice their unspoken hurt."I wasn't good at school. I didn't think I was intelligent," she admits. "But poetry? That was mine. That was where I felt seen."

Her debut collection, The World Around Me with songs and poetry.came out in 2012 - with Kyle's assistance. An honor student with a passion for technology and an understanding of layout, Kyle showed his mother how to correct the formatting on her book, add pictures, and give her prose digital life. He even assisted her uploading it.

"I still remember him saying, 'Mom, this is beautiful.' And he meant it."

Since then, Jackson has written six books, including House of Poetry, a dedication to her mother; My Poetrybabe and Kiss Me Hard, which deal with love and family; and The Light in Shawn's Eyes, a gritty bio of her ups and downs.

But it is In the Life of Kyle that is alone. Not as a book, but as a sacred gift

A Poem for the Lost, A Legacy for the Living

The book opens with verses that tremble with grief:

These lines are more than poetry. They're breath. They're survival. Jackson explains that the photographs in the book , of Kyle as a baby, a student, a brother - tell just as much of the story as her words.

"Here's a photo of him in his graduation gown. I still can't view it without weeping," she reports. "He was on the honor roll so many times. Me? I flunked most of my classes. But Kyle. he was a genius."

Though deeply personal, Jackson's writing reaches beyond her own pain. Her poems wrestle with big questions: about acceptance, forgiveness, and the unknown spaces between life and death. She writes about Kyle's coming out at 17. Her response? She embraced him fully.

“I held him and said, 'You're my son. Nothing changes that.' That was one of our strongest moments.”

In one of the book's highlights, "A Gay Man Holding My Hand," Jackson explores the nuance of love, sexuality, and identity with forthright candor and maternal humility. No performance is being executed here - just a life unfolding in lyrical candor.

Creativity and Chaos: A Mother's Balancing Act

Jackson's life has not been easy. From raising kids to dealing with relationships, and fighting the trail of grief, her artistic path has more often than not been forged in turmoil. She at one time calls the first year after Kyle died "a disaster."

"I couldn't think. Couldn't breathe. I cried for months. His birthday in October, the day he was found in June. Those dates don't get easier. I still break down."

But the other children, particularly her daughter Savannah and son Beau, became anchors and muses. Savannah, a dedicated mother in her own right, forged a calm existence with a husband she loved since high school. Beau, though, had his own struggles: run-ins with the justice system, emotional baggage, and recovery from a stormy relationship. Jackson incorporates Beau's story, and even his imprisonment, into her work.

"He's growing, healing. And one day he'll write his own story. Until then, I wrote poems for him too."

Her novels, particularly Kiss Me Hard, delve into these complex family relationships both unflinchingly and respectfully.

From Pain to Purpose

There is a common thread in all of Jackson's work: survival. Through all the heartaches, all the poems, and all the pages, she writes to keep what's important - remember, honor, transform.

"When I write, I weep. And I heal. I hope people feel something when they read what I've written - not only sadness; but also strength."

Her willingness to expose her deepest hurts isn't about spectacle. It's about human connection. She thinks that stories can save lives, or at the very least remind us we're not alone in our own.

She imparts this advice to potential writers: "Write the book over and over again. Feel it. Add the laughter, the tears, the emotion. Put poems in there. Put a song. Don't just write pages - write a heartbeat."

The Legacy of Kyle

It has been over a decade since Kyle passed away, but as Jackson would say, "He's still with me." Every verse, every line of In the Life of Kyle carries his presence.

She recites one of his poems aloud, "Kyle at 18," and her voice breaks on the final lines:

Home, for Jackson, isn't a place anymore. It's a memory. A melody. A son's voice that continues to resonate in the silence.

Writing Through the Generations

Although Kyle assisted with the publication of her debut book, her mother Adella set her up. "She taught me how to rhyme, how to spell, how to speak. She raised four of us, although we were adopted and she never made us feel unwanted. Kyle and she were as close as could be. She'd be so proud of this book."

That intergenerational span, from Adella to Shawn to Kyle and now to Savannah's child - seems somehow poetic, a verse line. A bloodline in poetry.

"I would like to leave love. Kindness. Feeling behind," Jackson states. "That is my legacy."

In the Life of Kyle

Kyle at 18

A Gay Man Holding My Hand

A Last Comment from the Author

As the article concludes, Jackson makes one last comment:

"Yes, I wrote poems. Yes, I wrote songs. But I wrote him. I wrote Kyle into every word, every line. And I hope, when people read this, they'll see not just a tragedy - but a life. A beautiful, complicated, brilliant life."

Out of her sorrow, she has left us something precious: a voice that will not be silenced, and a story that will not be forgotten.

📚 Explore Shawn Jackson's Books on Amazon:

← Back to Articles